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Fostering Resilience in Young Children
 An interview with Sam Goldstein, Ph.D., and Robert Brooks, Ph.D., authors of Raising Resilient Children. From the April 2002 Early Childhood newsletter.Q: What is resilience and why is it so important for parents to foster it in young children? A: In past years, the concept of resilience was confined to individuals who had overcome great adversity to lead more satisfying, successful lives. Adversities that were studied by researchers included poverty, abuse, neglect, learning disabilities, and growing up in a home where a parent had a significant emotional disorder. However, in our work we have expanded the concept of resilience to include all children, not just those who face obvious adversity. One, we believe all youngsters will encounter some stress in the normal process of development, and two, no one can predict which children may at some point encounter significant pressure or trauma. Thus, one of the main goals of parenting should be to nurture a resilient mindset in all children. This mindset is made up of the beliefs that: there are adults who love me unconditionally and are there to help me; I have the ability to solve problems; I have realistic expectations for myself; I make a positive difference in the world by contributing to the well-being of others; and I can learn from mistakes and failure. Parents can use each and every interaction they have with their young children to nurture these beliefs. Q: How can discipline be used to foster resilience and coping skills? Parents must remember that the word discipline is rooted in the word disciple and, therefore, is a teaching process. One of the main purposes of this teaching process is to reinforce self-discipline in children, which is a significant component of resilience. The forms of discipline parents use can either nurture or lessen self-esteem, self-discipline, compassion, and problem-solving skills. When parents discuss with children the purpose of rules and limits, when they establish realistic consequences that help children to make sound choices, when they teach children that there are alternatives to negative behavior, children will learn from them. In contrast, if discipline is harsh, arbitrary, and inconsistent, children will have a difficult time developing self-discipline and instead may grow to resent their parents rather than learn from them. Effective discipline cultivates the emergence of a resilient mindset and the use of more adaptive and thoughtful coping behaviors. Q: How can professionals work with parents to teach parenting skills that foster resilience and coping skills? A: There are many well-intentioned parents who either are unaware of the skills that children require to be resilient and/or are not certain of the most effective ways of reinforcing these skills. Professionals can help these parents to understand the concept of resilience, to learn strategies for reinforcing hope and resilience in their children, and, very importantly, to examine whether their current parenting practices are in keeping with the goal of fostering resilience and effective coping skills. The supportive, nonjudgmental input of professionals can provide an opportunity for parents to reflect upon and change any "negative scripts" or counterproductive interactions with their children and replace them with behaviors that are conducive to raising optimistic, hopeful children.
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