Adolescent depression is very dangerous. Your teen needs competent medical care right away. Ask your teen to share with you the symptoms of depression explained in Chapter 1, Am I Depressed?

Remember, your teenager’s depression is not your fault, and it is not your child’s fault. Depression is an illness like a cold or the measles. There are many different causes of depression, including certain diseases, hormonal imbalances, genetics, stress, medications, illegal drug or alcohol use, or poor diet. Your health care provider will help you and your teen figure out what is causing the depression and work with you to develop a plan for reducing and eliminating these distressing symptoms.

There are many positive things you can do to help your teen get through this very difficult time. But you can’t do it alone. Reach out to others for assistance and support.

Things You Can Do to Help

• Help your child get the help he or she needs. This may include:
  
  
  1. Finding a doctor and a therapist
     
     
  2. Arranging for treatment
     
     
  3. Dealing with insurance issues
     
     
• Ask your teen what he or she would like you to do to help.
  
  
• Don’t get angry with your child for being depressed.
  
  
• Listen — without nagging or giving advice. Just listen.
  
  
• Take your teen’s pain seriously. Validate it. If your teen says he or she feels awful, tell him or her you are sorry he or she feels so bad and ask what you can do to help. Comments like “Snap out of it” or “It’s not that bad” are NOT helpful and may make your teen more depressed.
  
  
• Remember, your teen is sick. Don’t expect your child to be able to do the things he or she could do if he or she were well. You may have to take over some of your child’s responsibilities, or ask others to help your teen until he or she feels well enough to do these things again.
  
  
• Learn about depression.
  
  
• In order to get the care and treatment your teenager needs, you may have to battle the following groups or organizations to get the support and care your child needs in a timely way:
  
  
  1. Insurance companies
     
     
  2. School systems
     
     
  3. Health care providers
     
     
  4. Treatment facilities
     
     
  5. Managed care providers

If your teen has recurring problems with depression, work with her or him and other people in her or his life to develop a plan of how you will respond to symptoms if they recur. Chapter 20, Developing a Safety Plan, guides your teen in developing a safety plan. Ask him or her to share this plan with you, and make a copy of it for your own reference.

If You Suspect Your Teen Is Suicidal

Many teens have thoughts of killing themselves. Many of them attempt suicide, and far too many are successful. If you suspect your teen is suicidal, you have to take action immediately. Take any suggestion of suicide seriously, even if the teen minimizes it. Ask your child if she or he is feeling suicidal. If your teen says he or she is, get help right away. Even if you think there’s only a possibility your teen might be suicidal, get him or her help right away. You have to take action on his or her behalf, even if he or she does not want you to. It may be necessary to save your child’s life.

Contact your local mental health agency or emergency services immediately for instructions and assistance.

Do not leave the teen alone. Your teen’s assurance that he or she would never commit suicide is not sufficient. Teens often promise they will not try to commit suicide and then attempt it as soon as they are alone.

Remove, or have someone else remove, all dangerous weapons, fire arms, and medications from the home. Even after the danger has passed, it is wise to have such things stored outside the home, unavailable to your teen.

The suicide risk is increased if your teen has:

• Made previous suicide attempts
  
  
• Hinted about suicide in the past
  
  
• A history of depression
  
  
• A history of self-harming behavior or taking irresponsible risks
  
  
• Low self-esteem
  
  
• Used or is using alcohol or street drugs
  
  
• Suffered a severe loss
  
  
• A close relative who has committed suicide

Again, get help, and take action right away. There is no time to lose.

Things You Need to Do for Yourself

• Get help for yourself if you are having problems.
  
  
• Participate in family therapy.
  
  
• Attend a support group.
  
  
• Talk with supportive friends and family members.
  
  
• Take good care of yourself in every way.

As a parent, be aware that adolescents sometimes minimize their problems. What you observe may be even more important than what your adolescent tells you.

When Your Teenager Is Feeling Better

When your teen is feeling better, you can help ensure that he or she will not have a future episode by working with him or her in family therapy or supporting your teen in individual therapy. In addition, it helps to work with your teen to develop a plan to use in case the symptoms of depression return.

Recommended Reading

For more information on recovering from depression, you might want to read “Recovering your mental health: A self-help guide.” This free booklet is available from The Center for Mental Health Services (CMHS) or by calling 1-800-789-2647.